It is wistful sadness I report that my friend Lindsey (aka "Butt Force Trauma") has retired from roller derby. She was, is, and hopefully always will be a bright, cheerful, and ever-thought provoking woman who mixes solemnity with humor in a joyfully unpredictable style. Whether it be Hot Dirty Sponges or Croptop Gangbangs (don't ask), she is a friend whose presence will not be easily replaced. I thank you for the gift of your patch collection, Trauma, and wish you the best of luck with the remainder of your graduate education.